Facebook post June 15, 2013
I am so looking forward to spending father’s day with my daddy tomorrow.
On one occasion, my dad and I were chowing down at one of our favorite restaurants “The Bone Fish Grill”. We chatted about my work experiences and the silent sufferings of children. I shared with him conversations with at that time, my elementary school students’ broken heartedness of not being allowed to spend time with or even talk with their dads. Fully aware that children can be used as pawns when parental relationships decay and disintegrate. This became a gut-wrenching subject. My dad started sobbing at the table. Yes!! REAL MEN CRY. He shared how painful and lonely it was to not to spend time with my sister and I on holidays and being excluded from our milestones (i.e., birthdays, graduations). He admitted that he stopped attempting contact with us early in the separation and subsequent divorce from my mother because it was much too painful. It was in my adulthood when my dad and I were reconnected. He is my BFF today and I talk with him about any and every thing.
If you know a father who will not be with their children tomorrow, he needs support without judgment. The words “Don’t Feel Bad” does not alleviate the anguish they are feeling. Having other children “Replacing The Loss” is not, a remedy to each “Unique Relationship” a father has with each child.
For those dads who will not be with their sons and daughters tomorrow. I PRAY YOUR CHANGE WILL COME!!
To all who are fathers (biological, spiritual, mentors) I want to wish you a BLESSED AND HAPPY FATHER’S DAY.