Buying Mother’s Day cards can be a joyful, mournful, painful or resentful activity. Hallmark has cornered the market on love and heart filled expressions generated on folded colorful paper. An emotional spectrum exists every time a person walks up to the graduated card display stands in stores and ponders on their choices. In my professional and personal life I hear many groans of grief related to the approach of Mother’s Day…starting in March!!
“I can’t stand it!!! My mom doesn’t want me, she never wanted me, and I almost never see her”
“I spend weekends with my dad so I don’t know if I will be able to spend time with my mom. I miss my mom”.
“My son is in prison and it breaks my heart everyday but it is especially painful on Mother’s Day.”
“My mom stuck up for my uncle even though he molested me. After that we were not close.”
“I will probably spend the day in the hospital with my baby, because of her illness. It’s like clock work, that’s where I will spend the day.”
“My parents forced me to have an abortion or they would have kicked me out of the house. Even at age 34 I wonder what my baby would have been like.”
“I’m a parent and grandparent and I still cry, and my heart aches because of my miscarriage.”
I remember working in the health room one day and a second grader arrived with complaints of a “stomach ache”. Physically there was nothing out of the ordinary and she could have returned to class. However, in further psychosocial assessment, I asked the magical words “What were you thinking about when your stomach started to hurt”. This 7-year-old specifically said “I HATE Mother’s Day!! We are in class making Mother’s Day cards, my mom was killed, other kids get picked up by their mom’s. It’s the worse time for me. UGH!!.” She continued to talk, realizing she was to allowed express her feelings and they were not going to be squashed. She learned her grief experience was normal and natural.
Unrealized hopes, promises, and dreams.
All different losses. All causing GRIEF.
Every one of us knows someone, if not ourselves that have had similar (NOT THE SAME) losses.
There is hope and healing for the hurting.
Marilyn Pendelton, RN, MEd, LNC, CSN
Heal. Inspire. Educate. Empower.